I'm a GP, navigating the hectic world of medicine in the NHS while being a busy mom to two amazing girls, ages 5 and 3. Balancing my career with family life is a constant challenge, one that many find stressful. Some even put their careers on hold or switch paths because of the hurdles. At the start of this journey toward becoming an adult, qualifying as a doctor and then a GP, and eventually becoming a mum, I realized there is no manual to guide you. You just somehow have to wing it and make it work. What has kept me going over the years is a clear vision and plan. I constantly remind myself of my goals to stay on track.
In medical school, all that mattered were the exams no one prepares you for the demanding journey ahead, endless exams even after graduation from medical school. It becomes difficult when you have kids and have to manage the home front and still study for exams, even more difficult exams than what we faced in medical school. It can be shocking when you realize the reality of balancing a busy career with being a mom. Despite all the books and resources out there, there’s no one-size-fits-all guide. We have to figure it out as we go.
So, how do you manage a demanding career, whether it’s in medicine or another field, and still be an effective mom? Here’s what works for me:
Planning
As difficult as it can be to plan, I work with a clear plan and strategy. I decided to finish my specialty training as quickly as possible because, believe it or not, the older one gets, the more difficult things become. While my kids were still very little, I took all my exams and got my husband on board. He stepped up significantly when I had to stay up late to study or work long hours at night.
Planning is everything. In medicine, you can clearly see your career path from junior doctor to specialist. As your family grows and your schedule gets tighter, it’s crucial to plan early. Finish your exams quickly and avoid long non-training paths if you want to become a specialist.
In non-medical fields, aim to complete professional exams and necessary training early because once kids come along, your time isn’t just yours anymore. Plan your daily activities and use your calendar to include kids' activities as well as family holidays.
It's also important to get your partner on board and let them in on your plans. As mums, we sometimes think we can do it all, but always remember you are not on this journey alone. Share the activities when you can and be on the same page.
Staying Focused
I remember someone once said, "If you leave medicine, medicine will leave you." On my journey, I’ve kept my eye on the prize, which is ultimately climbing up the career ladder as quickly as possible.
Distractions will come as your family and career grow, but staying focused is key. Write down your vision and goals so you can see them daily. If you need motivation or feel like you’re losing focus, try our motivational gift boxes to reset your goals and keep thriving. See link here to shop: https://berrysmotivation.co.uk/products/motivational-gift-boxes
Also surround yourself with like-minded people to help you stay motivated.
One of the best things I’ve learned is to work together with my husband. We’ve decided to pursue our careers simultaneously instead of waiting for one another. While it might work for some to wait or focus on their careers after the kids are older, time flies and distractions build up. Plan together and make it work together.
It's easy to veer off track, especially when everything becomes overwhelming. One day can lead to a week, and then a month, and before you know it, you have a significant career gap, making it difficult to get back in.
Seeking Support
I had my mum during the first part of my MRCGP exams. I knew I needed extra help apart from my husband. Someone needed to be with my baby whilst my husband went to work and I either was in a study group session or at the library. It was a difficult time but I needed the help.
As a GP, I have also built a strong community of friends around me. We all have kids and somehow we support each other and help when needed. Annual leaves are just not enough. Although we GPs do not work on weekends except for out-of-hours shifts, weekends are still not enough. From laundry to batch cooking, extracurricular activities for the kids, and family events, the weekend just doesn’t cut it.
A good support system is invaluable. Whether it’s your spouse, friends, or family, don’t hesitate to lean on them. Sometimes, you can't take time off work because you need those days for your kids' holidays. This is where your support network comes in. Share responsibilities with your partner and plan your schedules together. Remember, you can’t do it all alone.
Being Kind to Yourself
In the last year, I have tried to prioritize self-care. I got myself a treadmill, started swimming, and made sure I have quality time off work. We all need to pay the bills, but there's only one of us. We need to ensure we look after ourselves as much as possible.
Prioritize your well-being. You need to be healthy and happy to be the best mom you can be. Take necessary breaks and keep an organized work routine that allows for self-care. I created the motivational boxes in the Motivations shop with self-care and well-being in mind. They include items for pampering yourself, and the scented candles can enhance your relaxation time.
Balancing a demanding career and family life is tough, but with planning, focus, support, and self-care, it’s possible to thrive in both.
Don't forget to try one of the Motivations scented candles or motivational gift boxes if you are seeking motivation again as a mum.
See link here to shop. https://berrysmotivation.co.uk/products/motivational-gift-boxes
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Best Wishes
Dr Mute'